Captain Great's McDonald's EXPOSE!

So McDonald's recently put itself onto my radar by starting a whole new ad campaign. You know those ads; the ones embarrasingly trying to target all those fast food cynics by declaring that their chicken nuggets probably aren't made from chicken's feet or something. The ad campaign also plays the dual role of emphasising how McDonald's huge international fast food corporation is altogether not that dissimilar to all those local take away chinese food places that are always having to claim that there's no cat in their beef stir fry. And personally I'm always a little dubious of dining at restaurants with giant "you aren't actually eating cockroach infested pig semen" posters plastered all over their walls but that's just me.

These entertainingly misguided ads are probably a response to a bit of bad press McDonalds has had over the last couple of years. First there was the McLibel case where a bunch of people hated Happy Meals so much that they decided to be embroiled in a massive law suit with McDonalds for over a decade. Then there were those hella-bad-ass-subversive McFuck shirts everyone was wearing about five years ago. And by everyone I mean a bunch of university age faux marxist douches and idiot middle class teenagers most likely also wearing a Barbie backpack as an ironic statement. And then finally there was the film Supersize Me and...well actually I quite liked Supersize Me so I have no snarky, savagely witty barbs there I'm afraid. Sorry.

What I wanna know is, when exactly did McDonalds become the incarnate of evil anyway? I'm sure they've done some fucked up shit but they're hardly sending jews to gas-chambers or stomping on puppy dog's spines (that I know of). And personally I think there are worst things things for me to worry about than kids getting fat because their idiot bogan parents keep buying them godawful, rubbish food. Like global warming, child prostitution and Australian turned British feminists slagging off embarrasing dead media personalities.

But don't you go thinking that I don't have any beef (ha ha) with McDonalds! This article wasn't called Captain Great's McDonald's EXPOSE (!) for nuthin'. Tune in for part 2 where I reveal a carefully guarded McDonald's secret that may just violently transform the entire western world! But probably not.