You're probably fatter than me.

Well you probably are.

My name is Captain Great (no it's not my real name dickhead) and this is my blog.

A couple of fun facts about Captain Great!

I like to liken myself to the token controversial "say what the audience is thinking" judge on those Pop Idol type shows but without the rubbish TV show. Because I'm a member of generation Y and have to define myself by pop-cultural cliches.

I'm probably jewish. And by probably Jewish I mean I never had a barmitzvah and never had a grandparent die in auschwitz or anything. However, I do have maternal jewish ancestors and I was nailed to a plank of wood once in oldey-time Jerusalem. Or something.

Winner aren't grinners. In fact I hate those idiot smiley faced gits.

I also really hate Robin Williams. He is, in fact, my least favourite celebrity eva! I hate him more than James Blunt, Tom Cruise and that hideous bar hag who's married to Antonio Banderas. And umm...Hitler.

I'm not gay but I totally have a hard on for Bill Murray.

Joseph Heller and Douglas Adams would like totally want to be massive best friends foreva with me if they knew me in real life. And weren't all dead and stuff.

I once saw the old host of Wheel of Fortune in a mall. For reals!

But enough about me. Please stick around and frequently visit my blog. I'll be your best friend! Or at least I would if the coveted Best Friend to Captain Great position wasn't all filled up with dead celebrities and stuff.

Finally, in a saavy bid to attract that vital internet 80's nostalgia demographic here's a picture of Mr. T in a sombrero: