Sunday, November 12, 2006

Elton John: "Religion is shit."

This week Elton John made most of the world go all "dear God, please kill that fat british man with the silly glasses, amen" by declaring that all religious followers were "hateful lemmings". Personally I have a bit of a problem with it too Elton! Namely, 'hateful lemmings' is a fairly redundant term; you'd think that lemmings being hateful would be a given considering their whole suicide as a lifestyle choice thing they have going on, but I digress.

The phrase 'hateful lemmings' comes from a recent interview Elton John had with some guy from the Scissor Sisters in which he stated "I think religion has always tried to turn hatred toward gay people. Religion promotes the hatred and spite against gays...From my point of view, I would ban religion completely. Organized religion doesn't seem to work. It turns people into really hateful lemmings, and it's not really compassionate."

Admittedly he does have a point; it's only fair that if religious people can hate on gay people all the time, then gay people should be allowed to slag off religious people back. His timing probably could have been better though considering that the number of people hung up on magical men who live in the sky and cheesy stories about people being eaten by whales and stuff appears to be at an all time high what with 98% of all people in the world following some religion or another. However, it is to Elton John's credit that making 98% of the world declare jihads and fatwas and other wacky religious malarky against him didn't stop him from saying any random thing that came into his head to the British media.

Now, you'll probably remember Elton John from around the year 2001 when everyone you knew suddenly retroactively became long-time Elton fans after seeing that Tiny Dancer singalong bus scene in Almost Famous. You might also remember him from that time that he was a hugely successful and popular musician but that was so long ago that you probably don't. But mostly these days you'll know Elton John as that one celebrity that isn't afraid to speak what's on his mind. Like those times he called the papparazi 'vile pigs', George Micheal 'miserable' and Madonna a "rubbish lip-synching trollop". And in this bland politically correct celebrity world of "Anna Nicole Smith wasn't drunk, she lost a contact lense" and Paul "I don't care that my ex-wife claims I stabbed her with shattered wine glasses" McCartney, that makes Elton John a very rare beast indeed.

So despite having so many strikes against him: that Candle in the Wind song...that Donald Duck suit he squeezed his chubby body into once...updating Candle in the Wind for annoying, dead princesses...being culturally irrelevant for several decades...I think Elton John is pretty kewl.

Keep up the good work Elton! I'm eager to hear your probably offensive to lots of people views on the Arab-Israeli conflict, abortion and Jon-benet Ramsey!


Maureen said...

Are you the funniest, wittiest, most acidic writer I have ever had the pleasure to read?


Yes you are.

President of the Captain Great for World Domination Fan Club

Captain Great said...

You're making me blush Maureen!

I'll try to keep up the good work!