Thursday, November 30, 2006

Kramer: "Sorry about all the racism and stuff!"

So you'll probably remember last week when '90's American TV superstar Kramer made a bit of a comeback by going all nigger this and fucking fork up your arse that in some Los Angeles comedy club.

This week he's apparently decided that it was a bit of a silly thing to do really, probably after
Jamie Foxx tried to kick his arse, and has gone on a nice big media campaign to convince everyone that he's still the same old lovable scallywag who once hit a golf ball in the blow hole of a whale and invented a bra for men and other wacky primetime antics. First of all he made an appearance on David Letterman alongside Jerry Seinfeld where he was all "I aint a racist, honest guv'nor!" Then he phoned up a whole bunch of prominent members of the African American community to apologize. Then probably comically burst through their door and hilariously mooched all their food to a wild round of applause from a studio audience or something.

Kramer's face saving actions have radically backfired though, with Jesse Jackson calling a national boycott on the recently released seventh season of Seinfeld. Now I actually had a whole bunch of different jokes worked out for this one but then I did a bit of research and embarrasingly found out that Jesse Jackson is actually some sort of American civil rights leader and not a member of the Jackson 5. I don't know about you but ragging on some culturally irrelevant prat most famous for being a back-up singer to an eight year old is a whole lot more fun than ragging on someone who watched Martin Luthor King die. Gee, thanks for being such a mood killer Jesse Jackson.

To his credit though, I didn't actually know that Season 7 of Seinfeld was out yet, in fact, apparently I'm not the only one because Seinfeld DVD sales have actually dramatically risen in the last week and are estimated to be up 75% on last years Seinfeld DVD release.

But it hasn't all been pathetic attempts at redemption on rubbish American talk shows and failed DVD boycotts for Kramer. Just yesterday the disgraced star received support from a highly unlikely source: none other than Mel "sugartits" Gibson! In a recent Entertainment Weekly interview, Mel "my new movie Apocalypto is out soon" Gibson offered his condolences to Kramer. “I feel really badly for the guy. He was obviously in a state of stress. You don’t need to be inebriated to be bent out of shape," he said, subtly reminding everyone that at least he was drunk when he slagged off the entire Jewish race.


Johnny Strike said...

Make him serve as a butler for the guy he shouted abuse at!

Captain Great said...

I think imprisonment for one year would also suffice.